Behind the appearences
by Claude Amelia Song
Summary: In the memory of our beloved Alan Rickman, who despite the fact that he played villains he was a kind , compassionate person. I am too shocked and sad to continue.I will always remember him. To his character, Severus, I own my first story, one that I haven't yet published, and my wish to write.


**I don't own Harry Potter. When I found out 4 hours ago that Alan Rickman died I was stunned. Literally.I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want to. I was numb. I cried when I read what J.K. and Daniel said. He was one of my actors, I loved the way he played it make it so is in his memory and as well as Severus Snape's, because even if I admired him and his personality,his great acting skills; he will be for me forever** **The potions master.** **When I think of Severus immediately Alan's face flashes into my mind. This is not happening for others characters. He made Severus Snape special. My thoughts are with his family.I am still in shock.**

Harry Potter was watching the grave lost in thought. Twenty years had past since _**the final battle.**_ _Twenty years since he had watched Severus Snape die right before his eyes, without doing nothing,_ he thought with bitterness.

He regretted not listening professor Dumbledore to trust Snape. He regretted insulting him, laughing behind his back, believing that what the professor doesn't know won't hurt him, calling him names. _He should have listening to Hermione, but no, he knew better. Oh! How wrong he was._ After the battle he did everything in his power to give the honor his professor deserved, he fought for the professor to have a painting in the headmaster's office, just like he should.

He had won. They made the portrait and hung it just near Dumbledore's. He went to his ex-professor and apologized. The man looked at him with so kindness in the eyes, with forgiveness, in a way that Harry had never seen. Just then he saw the man behind the appearances, the person that only Dumbledore knew and considered a friend.

Only now two decades later he could say that he had seen behind Severus Snape's mask. Now he knew that with that first question , back in the first year the professor was telling him how sorry he was for his mother's death. That he found out just two years prior. He had watched again in the pensieve his own memories and saw how many mistakes he had made in judging the man.

In first year he believed Severus Snape was going to steal the stone and tried to kill him, when in fact it was the opposite. He didn't know that the professor almost broke down when Albus told him what him, Harry thought. He didn't know that the thought that his best friend's child would come to hate him so quickly was a scaring one. But the man had to keep up his appearances. He didn't know that Severus wanted to take him from the Dursleys from the first he saw him. _No, I only saw the cold heart facade._

In the second year, how many days and nights the professor went without sleep and food to try and find out what was stunning the students, and nobody noticed, _because nobody cared,_ Harry thought with a the headmaster knew, but he couldn't do nothing, Severus made him promise to do nothing.

To remember the third year was the hardest. The man had put himself in the front of Remus to protect them, the very ones that could have killed him in the shack, if had been Stupefy and not Expeliarmus. And they laughed that he didn't receive The Order of Merlin. Probably that was his only chance for recognition while he still lived and he knew it. _Still, he told Dumbledore that it was good that they disarmed him, Sirius could have gone to prison, innocent. He had forgiven Sirius for the past, even if the man continued to mock him and call him names. And I , I called him a coward._ Tears started to leave Harry's eyes.

In the fourth year, Dumbledore made him to "officially shook hands with Sirius" and asked him to spy for him ,again. Severus, of course , accepted it. He didn't give a second thought what would happen if was he was going to be discovered. He was only thinking that this way he was helping, helping to win the upcoming war.

How hard the fifth year was for the potions master, nobody saw back then. _Because nobody cared,_ a little voice in Harry's mind said again. With Umbrigide headmistress, Severus had even more less time for himself. If Albus wouldn't had helped him he would probably died two years sooner.

By the end of the sixth year Severus was so hurt inside that he could no longer feel the pain. He had to kill his only friend and he had found that the child he had come to love as his own had to die and now believed him a coward and a traitor. He protected and helped Harry when he cursed Malfoy when he could have had him expelled or worse.

Severus Snape tried his best to protect the students as headmaster and they just wanted him death. _He had wanted_ _him_ _dead._

When he told his professor that he name his son Albus Severus, the potions master cried and thanked Harry. Harry had said that he had wanted to that in his honor, to teach his son the professor's history.

Now, a year after Albus was sorted into Slyterin," _'cause Uncle Sev was a Slyterin and I want to be like him; I want to be the best potions master and a hero." ,_ he could say he could make finally peace with himself. He finally could try to forgive himself for how blind and reckless he had been. Now that he saw what he should have 27 years ago.

Now he understood everything behind the scenes of his professor's life, from why his hair looked the way it looked to the reason that he acted so well that nobody realized that it was all just an act; he had learned from a muggle actor, when he was a kid and even older, one that he admired and was friends with and who was one of the best actors Harry had ever seen.

 _Alan_ _Sidney Patrick Rickman (21 February 1946 - 14 January 2016)_


End file.
